这么长时间正常吗 Is it supposed to take this long?
妈妈 我... 等等 我知道你很生气 Mom, I... Wait. I-I know you're mad.
但 妈 我 不是我想要做这个的 But, Mom, I-I didn't even want to do it.
求你了 妈 Please. Mom.
妈 妈 妈 Mom... Mom... Mom!
哦 该死 不 不... Oh, fuck. No, no, no, no.
不 不 不... No, no, no, no, no.
撒旦的恐慌
袋鼠听着歌 ♪ Kangaroos are listening ♪
旁边的考拉也侧耳 ♪ Some koala bears are, too ♪
他们听不到我的心跳 ♪ They can't hear my heartbeat ♪
也不知道我在想你 ♪ They don't know I miss you ♪
你嗑药 你吸毒 ♪ You got pills, you got drugs ♪
但你其实只需要一个拥抱 ♪ What you need is a hug ♪
在你的伪装之下 我无法看清你 ♪ I can't see you behind your paraphernalia ♪
但我还在澳大利亚 ♪ But I'm waiting for you ♪
等着你 ♪ In Australia ♪
这他妈 这是啥呀 What the... What is that?
跟你说了吧 I told you.
在澳大利亚 ♪ In Australia ♪
就不该给你们看的 I shouldn't have shown you guys.
哦 Oh.
送披萨这份行当的技巧是 Delivering pizza is a calling whose techniques
-一代一代 -靠"身体"学习 - are passed down orally... - And anally.
口口相传下来的 ...from generation to generation.
这就是入学仪式 This is hazing.
真棒 Great.
有两份送去邻镇的 三份送去西边 Got a double going to S Town, triple going west,
长老派的人还点了留堂餐 and the Presbyterians are having a lock-in.
哦 我去给长老会的老家伙们送 Ooh! I get the pesky Presbies.
嘿 卡里姆 你去西边 Hey, Karim, you're west.
小姑娘 去邻镇 Young lady, S Town.
宝贝 邻镇可不会有什么好事 Ain't nothing good happening in S Town, baby.
在澳大利亚 ♪ In Australia ♪
萨姆斯特 Samster.
嗯 Yeah?
你欠我5美元 You owe me $5.
为什么 For what?
保温袋的押金 Deposit on the thermal bag.
哦 但我得用这5美元加油 Oh. But I need that $5 for gas.
听好了 等你送完 它还会在这儿等着你 Look. It'll be right there when you're done.
嘿 我可不想让我的女朋友哭个不停 Hey. I don't want my girlfriend crying.
我才不是你女朋友 I'm not your girlfriend.
你可一直找我呢 You keep calling me.
那是为了找工作 For a job.
你得到工作了啊 And here you are.
谢谢 这可太棒了 Thanks. It's great.
你欠我个人情 You owe me.
请挪开 我要淋湿了 Please move. I'm getting wet.
我对所有女人都有这个魔力 I have that effect on all women.
你该多做做冥想 You should meditate.
真正的宇宙 就在这儿 Real universe? It's in there.
噗 Boop!
等等 为什么你们管它叫邻镇 Wait. Why did you call it S Town?
吝啬鬼小镇 Scrooge Town.
从来不给小费 Never tips.
该死 Shit.
两只小白兔 Two fuzzy bunnies.
两只小白兔 两只小白兔 Two fuzzy bunnies. Two fuzzy bunnies.
两只小白兔 Two fuzzy bunnies.
呃 您点了宅急送的订单吗 Um, did you order from Home Run?
没错 你能帮我抬一下这边吗 Righteous. Can you grab one end?
哦 我 我还有别的单要送 Oh, I-I have another delivery.
-你叫什么 -萨姆 - What's your name? - Sam.
我也是 多巧啊 Mine too. What are the chances?
你必须得给我搭把手 You have to give me a hand.
-这是萨姆的约定 -还有这东西 - It's the code of the Sams. - Is that a thing?
全美国有七百万个叫萨姆的 There are 7 million Sams in America,
你是我遇见的第一个居然 and you're the first one I've ever met
都不知道萨姆的约定的 who doesn't know the code of the Sams?
-我 我 -萨姆要帮助萨姆 - I-I... - Sams helping Sams.
我们都这么干 That's our jam.
好吧 All right.
好了 真棒 来抓住这边 All right. Sweet. Grab this end.
没有上帝
呃 一共是24.75美元 Uh, that'll be $24.75.
-谢谢 -你要走[上厕所]吗 - Thank you. - Do you have to go?
呃 你付完钱 我就走啊 Well, after you pay, I go.
我是说尿尿 你要撒尿吗 Piss. Do you have to piss?
-什么 -我这儿有个家伙 - What? - I have this guy in here,
他想让我往他脸上撒尿 但我尿过了 and he wants me to piss on his face, but I already went.
我付你12美元 I'll pay you $12.
呃 不要吧 Uh... no?
假正经 Prude.
我还以为你是墨西哥人 I thought you was Mexicans.
呃 一共是8.98美元 Um, that'll be $8.98.
我的找零呢 My change?
今天是洗衣日 It's laundry day.
我的理查德在天堂里用不到这些了 My Richard doesn't need this in heaven.
-哦 哦 不 不 不要了 -看起来你穿合适极了 - Oh. Oh, no, no, no. - And it's exactly your size.
-我 我不需要这个 -祝福你 - I-I don't need this. - Bless your heart.
哦 Oh!
这可是萨姆之间的交情 给你了 From one Sam to another, you rule.
过期了 It's expired.
整整四个小时 我的收获就只有 In four hours, my total earnings
一张过期的苹果蜂优惠券 鼻伤风 are an expired Applebee's coupon, a head cold,
还有一件有种族歧视味道的毛衣 and a sweater that smells like racism.
你才第一天干这个 It's your first day.
我干这个是为了拿小费的 I took this job for the tips.
你需要一个能确保你拿到最丰厚的订单的人 You need someone to make sure you get the fat orders.
你吗 You?
我看的电影只有纪录片 The only movies I watch are documentaries,
我去健身房的时候 我会听有声书籍 and when I go to the gym, I listen to books.
我可以满足你所有的生理和心理需求 I can satisfy all your physical and intellectual needs.
我没有什么需求 I don't have any needs.
你接受不了我的直接 You're uncomfortable because I'm authentic.
往磨坊盆地送的 五个披萨 分五份装 Delivery for Mill Basin. Five pies in five.
那已经出了我们的配送区了 That's outside our zone.
我干 I'll do it.
-你去哪儿 疯狂的麦克斯 -呃 磨坊盆地 - Where to, Mad Max? - Uh, Mill Basin.
五年前 我接了一个往磨坊盆地送的单子 Five years ago, I took an order to Mill Basin.
那帮混蛋不仅没给我小费 The fuckers stiffed me for the tip
还当着我面把门摔上了 and slammed the door in my face.
所以我从窗户那里进去 看到好多人乱七八糟的聚在一起 So I went through the window, and everybody's boning...
有男的 小妞 阿猫阿狗啊 还有个青蛙什么玩意的 like, dudes, chicks, dogs and cats, a frog and shit.
然后我进去 就像这样 呱 呱 So I'm in there getting it, like, "Ribbit!"
然后所有人就 啊 啊 Like everybody's all, "Unh! Unh!"
然后我把帽子挨个传过去 And I passed the hat.
装了32美元回来 Made $32.
你去磨坊盆地之前还是个外卖小哥 You go to Mill Basin a delivery boy,
等你回来 就是个外卖老哥了 but you come back a delivery man.
磨坊盆地
你好 Hello?
宅急送披萨 Home Run Pizza.
嗨 Hi.
我今天第一天送 It's my first night.
抱歉 Sorry.
好了 Okay.
给你 Here you go.
谢谢你 Thank you.
哦 等等 如果你不签了这个的话我老板会很生气的 Oh, wait. My boss gets mad if you don't sign.
谢谢你 先生 祝你晚上好 Thank you, sir, and have a wonderful night
请尽情享用披... and enjoy your pi...
哦 不好意思 Oh. Excuse me!
不好意思 先生 我想你忘了给小费了 Excuse me, sir! I think you forgot to tip!
拜托 拜托 拜托 拜托 拜托 Please, please, please, please, please.
拜托 Please...
你这蠢 蛋 You stupid...
你好 有人吗 Hello? Excuse me!
我知道你在家 先生 I know you're home, sir!
我们今晚集聚与此 We are gathered here tonight
来完全激活我们的潜能 to activate our fullest potential.
十七年来 在团队协作和个人奉献的帮助下 For 17 years, we have achieved unprecedented growth
我们有了前所未有的进展 thanks to team unity and personal productivity.
所以我现在告诉你们 So I'm saying to you right now,
准备好来次彻头彻尾的思维转变吧 be prepared for a major paradigm shift,
因为今晚要发生的事 不可逆转 because today is nonreturnable.
我从没有发展过自己的事业 因为我要帮助他人 I haven't built my career because I needed to help others.
-借过 不好意思 抱歉了 -我从没有牺牲过 - Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. - I haven't sacrificed
我所拥有的一切 因为我也需要朋友 all I have because I needed friends.
我就做我该做的事 因为我热衷于创造胜者 I do what I do because I love to make winners.
你们准备好成为胜者了吗 Are you ready to be a winner?
-是的 -不好意思 抱歉打扰了 - Yes! - Excuse me. I'm sorry.
不过你有没有见过一个留着大八字胡的 有些死鱼眼的家伙 But did you see a guy with a big mustache, kind of dead eyes?
你们准备好拿回本该属于你们的东西了吗 Are you ready to take back what you are owed?
-是的 -你们准备好付诸行动了吗 - Yes! - Are you ready to just do it?
-是的 -你是谁 - Yes! - Who are you?
我 我叫萨姆 I-I'm Sam.
你在这儿干什么 What are you doing here?
我给这儿的一个家伙送披萨 I delivered pizza for a guy here,
但他没付小费 而我需要那份小费给摩托加油 but he didn't tip, and I need that tip for gas money.
我是说 如果这儿的每个人都能给个25美分 那就有 I mean, if everyone here gave a quarter, that'd be like...
等等 这儿的人你一个都不认识 Wait. You don't know anyone here?
那就有差不多10美元了 I mean, that would be like almost $10.
-是的 -你们准备好 - Yes! - Are you ready
完全献身给撒旦了吗 to fully commit yourselves to Satan?
是的 Yes!
-多少都可以 -你不能来这儿的 - Everything helps. - You can't be here.
实际上磨坊盆地已经超出了我们的配送范围了 Mill Basin is actually outside our delivery zone.
你得离开 You have to go.
请变革驱动者登场 Call forth the change driver!
事情发生了点变化 We've... had a complication.
变化只是伪装起来的机会 Complications are just opportunities in disguise.
变革驱动者并不像她看上去那么纯洁 Change driver was not as pure as she appeared.
还能挽回吗 Can she be salvaged?
她不再是我们的一员了 She's no longer with us.
认真的 Seriously?
萨缪尔怎么说 What did Samuel say?
萨缪尔不太支持我的实践方法 Samuel wasn't happy with my hands-on approach,
所以我把他安置到了某个地方 so I've put him somewhere
某个他不会产生 阻力的地方 where he won't cause any... backsliding.
这可是五朔节 丹妮卡 This is Beltane, Danica.
现在是满月时分 It is a full moon!
我们要召唤巴风特 We're summoning Baphomet.
我们需要一个处女 We need a virgin.
不好意思 Excuse me!
呃 抱歉打断你们的派对 或是 呃 随便什么吧 Um, sorry to interrupt your party or, um, whatever,
我是送披萨的小哥 哦 小姑娘 but I'm the pizza guy... oh, girl...
这儿的某个人点了五大份披萨 有一份还加了甜玉米 a-and someone here ordered five large pies, one with sweet corn,
呃 他是用卡付的钱 但是没给小费 uh, and he paid with a card, but he didn't tip.
所以我想看看你们有没有谁能帮他付个小费 So I just wanted to see if maybe you guys would cover for him.
我 我只是觉得 I-I just don't think it's fair
让我骑车这么大老远过来 for me to drive all the way out here
还要自己付油钱有些不公平 and not be able to cover the cost of gas, so...
你是谁 Who are you?
送披萨的 呃 人 The pizza, uh, person.
你在我房子里干什么呢 And what are you doing in my house?
你们听好了 Look, you guys.
也许你们住的社区非常豪华 You may live in this nice neighborhood,
而我只是送披萨的 但我们其实没多大不同 and I deliver pizza, but we're not so different.
我是说 我是讨生计的 你们也是 I mean, I have to make a living, just like you.
所以 也许你们可以传一下我的头盔给点小费 So, you know, maybe if you could pass the helmet,
下次我在街头卖艺的时候也许会有人说 the next time I'm busking and someone says,
嘿 你在磨坊盆地那帮自命不凡的家伙那里受气了没有 "Hey, what's with those stuck-up snobs in Mill Basin?"
我就会说 嘿 没有 I'll say, "Hey. No.
他们其实挺不错的 对吧 They're actually pretty cool," right?
街头卖艺 Busking?
对 呃 我唱些自己的东西 Yeah, uh, I sing my own material...
有民谣什么的 就在水族馆那边 like, folk songs... down by the aquarium.
你会不会碰巧是个 处女 Are you by any chance... a virgin?
呃 这个问题也太私密了吧 Um, that's a very personal question.
她是个处女 She's a virgin.
哦 呃 抱歉 Oh. Um, excuse me.
你们能不能 呃 能不能请你们让我走 Can you, um, can you let me go, please?
抱歉 嘿 嘿 哦 Excuse me. Hey. Hey. Ow.
我猜你也是惹恼了我那个婊子老婆吧 Guess you pissed off my bitch whore of a wife as well.
抱歉 你是谁 Sorry. Who are you?
我是谁 Who am I?
这是我的房子 你他妈是谁 I own this house. Who the hell are you?
呃 我是送披萨的 Um, I delivered that pizza.
是保温包装吗 You packing heat?
你是一个人来的吗 You come with anyone else?
那你会什么格斗技巧吗 柔道 空手道 马伽格斗术 What about fighting skills... judo, karate, Krav Maga,
菲律宾刀斗术 Filipino knife fighting?
好吧 唉 那就这样吧 All right. Well, that was that.
我只想要拿到小费而已 Look, all I did was ask for a tip.
我 我说 也许我不该闯进房子里 I-I mean, I probably shouldn't have come in the house,
但这是我第一晚 所以 你知道 我已经学到教训了 but it's my first night, so, you know, lesson learned.
你知道今天晚上这儿要发生什么吗 Do you have any idea what's happening here tonight?
呃 我工作的地方一小时只给2.13美元 Um, well, I work in a field that pays $2.13 an hour
我的收入大部分都要仰仗小费呢 and my income is mostly based off tips,
但我在这儿要小费的时候大家都气得不行 but everyone in there got pissed off when I asked for one.
好吧 这里没人会给你付小费的 Okay, well, none of those people are gonna tip you
因为他们都忙着供奉撒旦呢 because they're too busy worshipping Satan,
而今晚 他们要召唤巴风特 and tonight they are summoning Baphomet.
是个乐队吗 Like the band?
是个来自地狱的三面神 Like the triple-faced god of hell.
而且他们今晚很可能会杀了我们 And they're probably gonna kill us tonight.
嗯 肯定会杀了我 Well, they're definitely killing me.
也许也会把你杀了 我不确定 They're probably gonna kill you. I don't know.
哦 你肯定以为我比看上去年轻许多吧 Oh, you must think I'm a lot younger than I look.
我说 我的邻居 卡尔 他就是个撒旦崇拜者 可他还是个素食主义者 I mean, Carl, my neighbor, he's a Satanist and he's a vegan.
他们会把我的脂肪抽出来做蜡烛的 They are gonna render my fat to make candles.
行吧 呃 我得回去工作了 Okay. Uh, I need to get back to work.
他们会把你的舌头砍下来的 They are gonna cut your tongue out.
他们会把面条戳进你的眼睛里 They are gonna jam needles into your eyes,
那还是他们慈心大发的时候 懂吗 and that's them being merciful, okay?
你就庆幸自己不是个处女吧 Just be happy you're not a virgin.
我已经花了22年跟花言巧语的男人打交道 I've spent the last 22 years fending off horny dudes.
我想我还是能处理好 I think I can handle
一帮住在城郊的性欲无处释放的大叔的 a bunch of sexually repressed suburban dads.
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
你是个处女 Are you a virgin?
这问题太私密了 That's a very personal question.
我的妈呀 Christing hell.
今晚真是越来 越来 越来越好了 This night just keeps getting better and better and better.
喂 嘿 听着 嘿 Whoa. Hey. Listen. Hey.
我需要你汇聚好你 I need you to scrape together
仅剩的所有脑细胞 whatever brain cells you have left.
粗鲁 Rude.
巴风特需要处女的子宫才能出世 Baphomet needs a virgin womb to be born.
懂吗 你能听懂我说的吗 Okay? Do you understand what I'm saying?
这也是你到现在还活着的唯一理由 懂吗 That's the only reason you are alive right now, okay?
他是个来自地狱的 巨大可憎的恶魔 He is a big fucking demon from hell,
而当时钟敲响十二点之时 他就会在你肚子上扯个大窟窿钻出来 and when that clock strikes 12:00, he is gonna rip you open!
我在唱片封面上看到过 I've seen that album cover.
你明不明白为什么富人永富 而你这样的却只能一直混在底端吗 You have any idea why the rich stay rich and you stay screwed?
嗯 更好的医疗保健 Mm, better healthcare.
你有什么工具吗 Do you have any tools?
我们哪儿都不会去的 We're not going anywhere.
你该接受事实了 You should just accept that.
你要来一口吗 You want a hit?
很棒的 你会飘飘欲仙 什么都感觉不到的 Really good kush. You won't feel a thing.
我这趟已经送了超过一个半小时了 I've been on this delivery for over an hour and a half.
我大概是要被炒了 I'm probably fired.
啊哈 Aha.
我叫萨缪尔 My name is Samuel.
哦 我叫萨姆 真酷 名字一样 Oh. I'm Sam. Cool. Same name.
别担心 我不会把门框划花的 Don't worry. I won't even scratch the frame.
我建议你别挣扎了 I suggest you stop fighting this.
我打赌你有很多男朋友吧 I bet you have a lot of boyfriends.
如果你把帮我介绍这份工作 I mean, if you count the guy who got me this job
现在却想要占我便宜才肯给我更优渥的单子的家伙算上的话 and now wants me to put out so he'll send me on better runs,
那我想 嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿 then I think... Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
听着 他们要献祭一个处女 Listen. They need to sacrifice a virgin.
没有处女 就没法献祭 No virgin, no sacrifice.
让我来保护你吧 Let me protect you.
-哦 -过来 - Oh! - Come here.
嘿 我是要救你的命 懂吗 Hey. I'm trying to save your life, okay?
别再反抗我了 Stop fighting me here.
我是要救你 I'm trying to save...
对 不管你想不想要 我都要救你 Yeah. I'm gonna save you whether you like it or not.
看看你逼我到什么地步了 我可是个女权主义者 Look at what you made me do. I'm a feminist!
哦 Oh!
邓肯 邓肯 邓肯 Duncan! Duncan! Duncan!
求求你 求求你来救救我 求你了 Please... Please help me! Please!
你太过分了 You are way out of line.
-我没听清 -把它放下来 - I didn't hear... - Put it down.
听好 Now, you...
我 我其实并不喜欢用枪 I'm... I'm not even a gun person.
求你了 Please.
不管怎样 他们都不会有处女可献祭了 One way or another, they aren't getting their virgin.
萨姆的约定 不 萨姆的约定 Code of the Sams. No. Code of the Sams.
伟业就要拉开序幕了 And now the great work begins.
哦 萨缪尔 Oh, Samuel.
你做了什么啊 What did you do?
我们已经如此接近了 萨缪尔 We were so close, Samuel.
我们就快成功了 We were almost there.
可惜 你只能怪你自己了 Sadly, you only have yourself to blame.
是你自己的错 It's your fault.
好了 All right.
你在哪儿 Where are ya?
我知道那颗灵魂就在这附近 I know that soul's around here somewhere.
再低一点 A little lower.
再低一点 Little lower.
好了 Okay.
我们很接近了 Now we're getting close.
找到了 There you are.
好了 All righty.
哦 哦 好滑啊 Ooh. Oh, it's so slippery.
啊 好了 Ah. Okay.
好了 There.
谢谢你 Thank you.
用冷水洗一遍 然后再用225度烘烤40分钟 Run it under cold water and bake it at 225 for 40 minutes.
随后用月桂叶包好 撒上黑胡椒和墓地土 Pack it with bay leaf, black peppercorn, and graveyard dirt.
用炖锅装好 Use the big casserole tray.
哦 丹妮尔 还有 Oh. And, Danielle?
别用我那个好的锅 Not my good tray.
我认为 I think...
你不是来认为这认为那的 Your job is not to think.
你只需要告诉我一件事 吉普西 Your job is to tell me one thing, Gypsy.
我的处女他妈的在哪儿 Where the fuck is my virgin?
求你了 求你了 帮帮忙 救救我 Please. Please. Please help. Help me.
哦 我的天哪 你还好吗 Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?
-请帮帮我 -你当然不好 - Please help me. - Of course you're not okay.
我在说啥呢 怎么回事 What am I saying? What happened?
我被袭击了 求你了 快打911 I got attacked. Call 911, please.
是什么帮派发起的袭击吗 Was it a gang-initiation thing?
不是 街道那边的一个房子里有个男的 他 他要强奸我 No. A-A man at the house down the street, he tried to rape me.
这太混蛋了 That's bonkers.
我们得打911报警 我 我的手机掉那儿了 We have to call 911. I-I dropped my phone.
首先 我们得先止血 First thing, we stop the bleeding.
要是把血滴到哪儿的话我妈妈一定会杀了我 My mom will kill me if I get blood on anything.
我在看孩子呢 I'm babysitting.
哦 付你多少钱 Oh, what does that pay?
每小时二十五 Twenty-five an hour.
-哇哦 -我看到你的咪咪了 - Wow. - I see your boobs.
嘿 回客厅去 小家伙们 Hey! Back in the TV room, guys.
别来掺和大人 This is adults only.
抱歉 Sorry.
快点 去吧 去吧 去吧 Come oh. Go, go, go.
抱歉 抱歉 抱歉 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
让这两个家伙安生点真让我头大 I'm having a heck of a time getting these two situated.
给 Here.
就你一个人吗 You're alone?
就我和这两个小怪兽 Just me and the monsters.
所以你的故事才这么可怕 That's why your story is so scary.
我想这些应该都不是我的血 I don't think any of this is mine.
你确定吗 你脸色苍白极了 You sure? Your face is really pale.
呃 警察那儿怎么说 Um, what did the police say?
哦 我就知道我忘了点什么 Oh, I knew I was forgetting something.
给 你得补点糖 Here. You need the sugar.
它能保证你不会惊吓过度 It'll keep you from going into shock.
嘿 Hey!
你说出去 我就会说你摸了我屁股 You tell, I'll say you touched my butt.
等等 你们可以看这个的吗 Wait. Are you allowed to be watching this?
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey!
别站在毯子上 好吗 Stay off the carpet, okay?
你肯定冷坏了 You must be freezing.
警察呢 Police?
他们说他们会马上派个人过来 They said they're sending someone right away.
我们过去好好坐着吧 We're supposed to sit tight.
他死了 He's dead!
哦 亲爱的 他只是困了 Oh, he's just sleepy, sweetie.
你把汽水给那个孩子了 You gave a child soda?!
-你这人什么毛病 -你往里面放什么了吗 - What is wrong with you? - What did you put in that?
嘘 抱歉我吼你了 Shh. I'm sorry I snapped.
乔丹有糖尿病 Jordan's diabetic,
精制糖会让他身体机能完全失调的 and refined sugar really throws his system out of balance.
我不想伤害你 I don't want to hurt you.
当然了 你为什么会想伤害我呢 Of course not. Why would you want to hurt me?
-别动 -我没在动 - Don't move. - I'm not moving.
搞定他 亲爱的 Get her, sweetie!
搞定这个恶毒女人 Get that mean lady!
对不起 I'm sorry!
你这混蛋 那是个孩子 You motherfucker! That is a child!
你最好祈祷他没得脑震荡 You'd better pray he doesn't have a concussion!
放过我吧 Just leave me alone.
你要做的只不过是把可口可乐喝了而已 All you had to do was drink your Coca-Cola,
可现在你却整出了这么个复杂局面 but now you've created a situation!
-离我远点 -我了解你这样的女孩 - Stay away! -I know girls like you.
你们去公立学校 吃着政府补助的奶酪 You go to public school and eat government cheese
六年级就搞怀孕 and get pregnant in the sixth grade!
嘿 宝贝 怎么这么吵 Hey, babe. What's all the racket?
戳烂她 姐姐 Shred her, sis.
你们到底是谁 Who are you people?!
婊子 Slut.
嘿 Hey!
不 不 不 No. No. No.
不 不 不 不 不 No. No, no. No, no.
不 不 不 不 No. No. No. No.
不 不 不 No, no. No.
有人吗 Hello?
你穿的平价文胸 所以我想你应该不是他们的人 That's a Kmart bra, so I'm assuming you're not one of them.
呃 我 我叫萨姆 我是送披萨的 Um, I-I'm Sam. I deliver pizza.
你他妈在等什么呢 给我解开 What the fuck are you waiting for? Untie me.
我现在有些陷入信任危机了 I'm having some trust issues right now.
你敌人的敌人就是你的朋友 The enemy of your enemy is your friend.
-什么 -你敌人的敌 - What? - The enemy of your en...
该死的 她们马上就要用个大杀器 For fuck's sake, they were about to bang me to death
把我搞死了 懂吗 with a giant killdo, okay?
好吧 Okay.
可 等等 你是谁啊 Now, wait. Who are you?
不关你的事 小报童 None of your fucking business, paper boy.
我是送披萨的 Pizza girl.
我才他妈的不在乎 I don't give a flying monkey's fuck sac.
嗷 Ow!
听着 我们得离开这儿 Look, we have to get out of here.
谁跟你是我们 What's this "we" shit?
我要离开这儿了 你可以回多米诺披萨店那儿去 I'm getting out of here. You can go back to Domino's.
-我不知道这儿是怎么回事 -对 - I don't know what's happening! - Yeah.
这也正是我想让你离我远点的原因 That's exactly why I want you to stay the fuck away from me.
这里是911 你有什么紧急情况吗 911. What's your emergency?
嗨 是的 我在磨坊盆地 Hi. Yeah. I'm at Mill Basin.
我不知道这儿是怎么了 但我 And I don't know what's happening, but I'm...
请问你的位置在哪 What's your location, please?
呃 我 我不知道这儿的地址 Um, I-I don't know the address,
但我在 在一幢看起来很可怕的大房子里 but it's... it's a big house, scary-looking.
呃 好像 在一个偏远的街道上 Um, it's, like, on a deserted street.
我不知 I don't...
蠢蛋 Idiot.
他们在金和史蒂夫的房子里 They're at Kim and Steve's house.
你的求生本能就和大熊猫一样差 You have the survival instincts of a giant panda bear.
他妈的离我远 Stay the fuck away from...
这是你干的吗 Did you do that?
这是个意外 It was an accident.
你真是个天生的杀手 You're a natural born killer.
我是朱迪 Judi.
不 我 我不是故意要 No. I-I didn't mean to.
把你的大咪咪装好了 他们知道我们在这儿 Get your big tits in gear. They know we're here.
哦 等等 等等 Oh. Wait, wait.
走这边 This way.
为什么我闻到了你女儿的味道 Why do I smell your daughter?
你闻到的是她尸体 That's her corpse you're smelling.
金和史蒂文会照料好她的 Kim and Steven took care of her.
好吧 Okay.
丹妮卡 你的婊子女儿谋杀了我们的姑娘 Your whore daughter murdered our girls, Danica.
什么 What?
为什么克里斯腾和米歇尔跟我女儿在一起 Why were Kristen and Michelle with my daughter?
哦 我们 呃 Oh. We, uh...
你们按着我跟你们说的杀了我女儿了吗 史蒂文 Did you kill my daughter like I asked you to, Steven?
我们把她交给我的姑娘们了 丹妮卡 We gave her to the girls, Danica.
你干什么了 You what?!
她们一想到能杀了她就激动极了 They were so excited about killing her.
我知道 I know.
哦 Oh!
-是她们想要这样的 亲爱的 -我为什么要那么做 - They wanted to, sweetie. - Why did I do that?
我现在严重怀疑你的领导能力 I am seriously questioning your leadership.
好了 大家 All right, people!
我们要组成三人刺杀小队 We will form three-person kill teams.
我们要四散到社区各处 We will split the neighborhood into quadrants.
走 走 走 Go, go, go!
别跟个法西斯一样 吉普西 Don't be a fascist, Gypsy.
我们出卖灵魂可不是为了跟一帮该死的嬉皮士一样 We didn't sell our souls so we could clomp around outdoors
在外面咚咚乱闯的 like a bunch of goddamn hippies.
法西斯能办成事 Fascists get things done.
哦 Oh.
谢谢你 丹妮尔 Thank you, Danielle.
垫个垫子 Trivets.
灵魂蛋奶酥 有人想吃吗 Soul soufflé, anyone?
刀 Knife.
T恤 T-shirt.
萨缪尔 给我找到那处女 Samuel, find me my virgin.
这就是我得以领导这个巫师团的原因 And that's why I lead this coven.
把这个烧了 Burn this.
我们溜回我摩托车那里逃走吧 Let's sneak back to my Vespa and go.
首先 我可不想因为坐该死的摩托车被抓送命 A, I'm not getting caught dead on a fucking Vespa,
其次 他们五秒之内就会在大街上放出些 and B, they're about to have sick, fucked-up shit
乱七八糟的狗屎玩意 all over these streets in about five seconds.
天然海盐
好了 All right.
这样应该就能挡住一些小怪了 This should keep out the basics...
追魂犬 滑皮兽 碎胆怪 spirit dogs, slipskins, grind guts,
灰衣人 夜魔 任何会走或是会爬的 the gray man, night hags... anything that walks or crawls.
恶魔在数清楚盐有多少粒之前是不能跨过来的 Demons won't cross salt without counting every grain.
这是他们的规矩之一 It's one of their rules.
这群混蛋的规矩比快艇骰子游戏还多 Fuckers have more rules than Yahtzee.
恶魔们就痴迷什么法规 定则 仪式这些 Demons are obsessed with laws, codes, rituals...
听起来牛逼的狗屁玩意 all that type-A shit.
你在说什么呢 他们只是普通人罢了 What are you talking about? Those were just people.
哦 那你说刚才那里的是普通人吗 Oh, was that just people back there...
一个我从小就认识的女孩想用她的异形振动棒 a girl I've known my entire life about to hump me to death
把我给顶死 with her H.R. Giger love stick?
好吧 他们是很疯 但也不是什么巫师啊 Okay. They're nuts, but they're not wizards.
我们得走了 We have to go.
住这儿的人会回来的 Whoever lives here is gonna come home.
太阳升起前不会有人回来的 No one's gonna be home before sun-up.
我们还是报警或者 或者离开这儿吧 Let's just call the police or... or get out of here,
总之我们不能待在这儿啊 but we can't stay here.
哦 上帝啊 Oh, my God.
你就像个大号的智障儿 You're like a big retarded baby.
我妈妈和她的跟屁虫们就要献祭召唤巴风特了 My mom and her butt buddies are booty-calling Baphomet,
我们得像个害怕被揪出来的小婊子一样藏在这儿 and we're gonna hide in here like scared little bitches
因为他们完全可以把你的肾喂给红火蚁吃 because they can turn your liver into fire ants.
如果他们发现我们 他们可不是杀了我们这么简单 If they find us, they're not going to kill us.
他们会搞些你完全弄不懂的狗屎玩意 They're gonna do shit that you can't comprehend.
而且直到你被浑身赤裸地捆在 And they're not going to stop
铁丝网环绕的祭坛上 跟15英尺的哥和拿野兽在一起 until you're strapped naked to a barbed-wire altar
让他用双管齐下的恶魔之角 with the 15-foot beast of Gehenna
把你像个旋转门或是牛肉末一样 and his double-pronged demon dong
从处女膜那儿给你 walking out of your cooch chute
捅个透心凉之前 他们都不会停手的 like it's a revolving door of ground beef.
我为什么要听你的 你也是他们的一员啊 Why am I even listening to you? You're one of them.
这是你今天说的第一句聪明话 That's the first smart thing you've said today.
听着 我要上楼找件衬衫 Look, I'm going upstairs and I'm getting a shirt,
然后离开这里 and then I'm getting out of here.
是走是留 你自己选吧 Stay or go. It's your choice.
真可爱 你还觉得我们有得选 That's cute. You think we have choices.
两只小白兔 Two fuzzy bunnies.
不 No!
萨姆 Sam!
我来了 我来了 I got you. I got you.
加油 加油 加油 Come on. Come on. Come on.
加油 你会没事的 我来帮你了 Come on. You're gonna be okay. I got you.
帮帮我 Help me!
我刚刚是被一张床单袭击了吗 Was I just attacked by a sheet?
对 Yes.
嗯 确切来说 是女巫斗篷 Well, technically a haxan cloak.
它没了 It's gone!
你的女巫斗篷失败了 Your haxan cloak failed.
这不是你第一次判断错误了 This wouldn't be the first time you were wrong.
我知道你手里有些朱迪的头发 I know you have some of Judi's hair.
把它给我 Give it to me.
我们是要找到那两个姑娘 不是杀了她们 We want to find the girls, not kill them.
你的女儿已经失去贞洁了 Your daughter lost her virginity,
你的丈夫又弄丢了我们的处女 而你的女巫斗篷又失败了 your husband lost our virgin, and your haxan cloak failed.
需要有人站出来管事了 Someone needs to take charge.
你是在自告奋勇吗 And you're volunteering?
离日出只有五个小时了 It is five hours until sunrise.
我们可没时间陪一个无能的领导玩 We don't have time for a weak leader.
快把她的头发给我然后给我让开 Now give me her hair and get out of my way.
所有人都是这么想的吗 Is this how everyone feels?
我们的 我们的孩子们都死了 丹妮卡 Our... Our children are dead, Danica.
丹妮尔 Danielle?
我明白了 那我去准备祭坛吧 I see. Then I'll prepare the altar.
我们会去准备的 We'll do it.
新生儿一定要一个干净的祭坛 This rookie needs a clean slate.
哦 给 Oh. Here.
那个小垃圾把这个丢这儿了 有人给她打电话 The tramp dropped this. She got a call.
给我们的活动披上一层 Wasn't dropping a veil of shadows
阴影面纱不是你的工作吗 over our activities your job?
如果你觉得你做得到的话 就去让目击证人消失吧 Make the witness disappear if you think you can handle it.
当心地毯 Mind the carpet.
我在家上学 黑色交易所 新萨博车 都是在我15岁的时候 Home-schooled, black Amex, new Saab... all when I was 15.
我当时还很重要 I was the shit.
然后今晚 他们要召唤巴风特的肥毛屁股 And then tonight, they summon Baphomet's big hairy ass
让他去做些变态的鬼事情 and let him do all this sick shit
让他把他们变成宇宙中的高级统治者 and he makes them super rulers of the universe.
而你呢 And you?
显然 巴风特只能从处女的阴道里出来 Apparently, Baphomet only travels through virgin vag.
那个处女可不会有什么好下场 Doesn't end well for the virgin.
等等 你是个处女 Wait. You're a virgin?
誓言的象征 President of the Promise Keepers.
我一发现他们想让我保持处女身的原因 As soon as I found out why they wanted my cherry,
就立马不想保持了 I didn't even want to.
我找了能找到的第一个家伙跟他做了一场 Found the first guy I could and boned down.
我们不该继续喝下去了 We should stop drinking.
你真的想清醒面对这遭子破事吗 You really want to face this shit sober?
我今晚已经看到三个人死了 I've seen three people die tonight
还刚被一张非常昂贵的床单给袭击了 and was just attacked by some really expensive sheets.
所以我不太知道现在到底该怎么想 So I don't really know what to think right now.
欢迎来到世界背后的隐藏世界 Welcome to the world behind the world.
致信根
如其在上 如其在下 As above, so below.
-嗨 你是萨姆的朋友吗 -我是邓肯 - Hi, is this Sam's friend? - This is Duncan.
哦 是邓肯啊 Oh, this is Duncan.
哦 她一直把你挂在嘴边呢 Oh, she would not stop talking about you.
我一点都不意外 That doesn't surprise me.
嗯 我是在约炮软件上认识萨姆的 Well, I met Sam on Tinder,
但她实在是太令人失望了 but she turned out to be a real disappointment.
她一直在哭个不停 说些有关你的事 所以我把她赶出去了 All she did was cry and talk about you, so I threw her out.
然后我发现她的手机丢在这儿了 Then I saw she left her phone,
然后我想 我不如直接寻本溯源 and, well, I thought I'd go straight to the source.
说实话 我是个对伴侣尺寸要求很高的人 I'm a bit of a size queen, to be honest with you.
是吗 我的还不错 You are? Well, it's uncut.
哦 那可太棒了 Oh. That's very impressive.
唉 我吸了八包可卡因了可还是感觉很空虚 Well, I have an eight ball of cocaine and feel empty inside.
你不如过来把我填满吧 Why don't you come over and fill me up?
需要我顺便带些什么过来吗 Need me to stop and grab anything?
精油如何 Scented oils?
那种 那种可以先 先预热一下的东西 The... The kind that warm... warm things up?
相信我 Trust me...
我只对你的身体感兴趣 I'm only interested in your body.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
呃 我 我得跟你说件事 Um, I-I have to tell you something.
你喜欢上我了 You have feelings for me?
再喝一杯 这感觉就过去了 Have another drink. They'll pass.
不是 No.
我是个处女 I'm a virgin.
什么 What?
这他妈怎么可能 How the fuck is that possible?
我有过一个男朋友 但他就是硬不起来 I had a boyfriend, but he just couldn't perform.
-我是说 他现在已经离开了 但 -我们完了 - I mean, he's gone now, but... - We're fucked.
我说 我 我不是 我不介意我们不得不 I mean, I-I don't... I don't mind if we have to...
呃 行了 我 我知道你想干嘛 Uh, yeah, I-I see what you're doing.
不 我知道你在想什么 No, I know what you're thinking,
但即使我他妈给你阴道里塞根蜡烛进去 but even if I stuck a fucking candle up your cooch,
从黑魔法角度来说你也依然是个处女 it's strictly dickly when it comes to black magic.
-对不起 -你男朋友的软丁丁 - I'm sorry. - Your boyfriend's limp dick
会把我们害死的 is gonna get us killed.
只要 嘿 As soon as... Hey.
你在流血 You're bleeding.
哦 不 Oh, no.
-哦 不 不 -怎么了 - Oh, no, no. - What?
他们有我的头发 They have my hair.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
萨姆 快 Sam, hurry.
我们得密封我的皮肤 We have to seal my skin.
这是唯一的办法了 It's the only way.
写下这个 从我的脚上开始 Write this. Start on my feet.
操 Fuck.
好了 Okay.
操 Fuck!
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
我在画着呢 I'm drawing it.
坚持住 坚持住 坚持住 Hang on, hang on, hang on.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
-快 快 -我在努力 我在努力 - Hurry, hurry. - I'm trying, I'm trying.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
哦 我的天哪 哦 我的天哪 哦 天哪 怎么回事 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. What is happening?
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
继续 Keep going.
不 不 不 不 不 不 不 我做 我做不到 No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I ca... I can't do this.
我只想 我只想回家 I just... I just want to go home.
我本来早就该是床单上沐沐流血的肉条了 I was supposed to be a gore streak on a mattress.
而你打败了他们 And you beat them.
写下去 Write.
我不行 我不行 I can't, I can't.
跟我讲个故事吧 Tell me a story.
从前 有个叫哈利·波特的小男孩 Once upon a time, there was a boy named Harry Potter.
-你他妈在逗我吗 -我不知道该讲什么 - Are you fucking kidding me? - I don't know what to say!
我从没有过男朋友 I never had a boyfriend.
跟我讲讲你的 Tell me about yours.
什么 讲丹尼尔吗 What, about Daniel?
呃 呃 他能全凭记忆 把整个公路勇士电影背下来 Um... Um, he could do the entire "Road Warrior" movie,
包括声音特效 including sound effects, from memory.
呃 我是在第一天去AYAO时遇见他的 Um, I met him at my first day at AYAO.
呃 AYAO就是 青少年肿瘤中心 Uh, AYAO... the Adolescent Young Adult Oncology Center.
我去那儿进行化疗 I had to stay there for my chemo.
我不会再爱上另一个人了 I'll never love anyone else.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
我们一同进出AYAO有两年时间 We were in and out of AYAO for two years,
他教了我一套缓解压力的咒语 and he taught me a mantra for when I get tense.
呃 它 它听上去又呆又蠢 Um, it's... it's silly and it's goofy,
我只是要专心念两只小白兔 but I just focus on two fuzzy bunnies
直到全世界只剩下这两只小白兔 until they're the only thing in the entire world,
这样就能完全屏蔽掉所有的痛苦了 and it just totally blocks out all the pain.
啊 Aah!
把我背后画完 Finish my back!
-把我背后画完 -呃 呃 - Finish my back! - Um! Um...
我得了霍奇金式淋巴瘤 他得的是白血病 I had Hodgkin's lymphoma, and he had leukemia.
别停下来 Don't stop!
我得待在医院接受化学治疗 I had to stay at the hospital for my chemo infusions,
每当我一次化疗结束之后他都会摇着轮椅到我门前 so after each one he'd roll his chair to my door
给我表演公路勇士来逗我笑 and do the "Road Warrior" to make me laugh.
他跟我说澳大利亚 He told me that Australia
是世界上最伟大的国家 was the greatest country in the world.
呃 我给他写过一首 Um, I wrote him songs
有关沙袋鼠 毛鼻袋鼠和长颈鹿的歌 about wallabies and wombats and kangaroos,
而我们第一次接吻 and the first time we kissed
是在我给他唱了彩虹吸蜜鹦鹉的歌之后 was after I sang to him about the rainbow lorikeets.
-哦 天哪 哦 天哪 -别 别停下来 - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Don't... Don't stop.
-别停 -哦 天哪 哦 天哪 - Don't stop. - Oh, my God, oh, my God.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
我们本来要一起去澳大利亚庆祝我们 We were gonna celebrate our first cancerversary
第一个癌症纪念日的 by going to Australia together.
但是 呃 我的病情好转了 可丹尼尔没有 But, um, after I went into remission, Daniel didn't.
两周后他们跟我说我的癌症已经好了 Two weeks after they told me I was cancer-free,
他却回了AYAO he went back into AYAO.
我想去看望他来着 可我没有 I wanted to visit him, but I couldn't.
没人怪我 大家都能理解 I mean, no one blamed me. Everyone understood.
但事实就是他从未放弃过我 我却放弃了他 But the fact is he never gave up on me, and I gave up on him.
我逃走了 I ran away.
朱迪 Judi?
别停下来 Don't stop.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
不 挺住 No! Come on!
挺住 挺住 挺住 Come on, come on, come on.
弱者亡 Death to the weak.
-挺住 挺住啊 -强者富 - Come on, come on. - Wealth to the strong.
挺住 Come on.
那个维京婊子 That Viking whore!
她教了她女儿那本书 She taught her daughter the book.
我操 Fuck!
派对开始了 混球们 The party has arrived, motherfuckers.
请进吧 Enter freely.
作为女的你还挺有种的 You got lady balls.
像你这样的一般看到我这样的人都会想 People like you normally look at someone like me and think,
这家伙能干这么多次 "This guy is living the frequency?
我可受不了 I can't handle."
A级的融雪可卡因 能让你浑身嗨翻 Grade-A melting-snowflake, skin-shivering cocaine.
就像你脑子里有一挂冰瀑一样 Like an icy waterfall inside your brain.
呃 Uh...
好吧 Yeah.
哦 Oh!
呃 你有啤酒吗 Uh, do you have a beer?
印度爱尔啤酒 低度的就好 我还要 IPA? Light beer is fine. I just...
我一会儿还得 I have to drive.
开车 Later.
别那么怂 Quitter.
放松 吸一口 Relax. Snort.
好吧 Okay.
-哦 还来吗 -嗯哼 - Oh, more? - Mm-hmm.
好的 Okay.
-现在 告诉我 -嗯 - Now, tell me... - Hmm?
你感觉如何 How do you feel?
我感觉如何 呃 How do I feel? Um...
我感觉 我感觉如何 呃 How do... How do I feel? Uh...
我感觉棒极了 I feel amazing.
嗷 Ow.
回来 你在干什么 Come back. What are you doing?
我的 What's...
我的腿怎么了 What's wrong with my legs?
你在干 你在干 What are you... What are you...?
你对我的腿做了什么 What'd you do to my legs?
你对我做了什么 What'd you do to me?
嗯哼 Uh-huh.
对 Yep.
这就对了 嗯哼 There we go. Uh-huh.
你要帮我找到我的女儿 You're going to help me find my daughter.
嗯哼 女孩们在哪儿 嗯 Mm-hmm. Where are the girls, huh?
女孩们 G-Girls...
你要告诉我我想知道的东西 You're going to tell me exactly what I need to know.
我听 我听不见 I can't... I can't hear you.
你说什么 What's that?
哦 这才像话 Oh, now we're talking.
好了 All right.
她们在哪儿 Where are they?
女孩们在哪儿 嗯 Where are these girls, huh?
好了 Okay.
真他妈的难以置信 我妈 Fucking unbelievable, Mom.
当他们专心弄死我的时候 When they were focused on killing me,
你本来可以逃出这地方的 you could've gotten the fuck out of here.
要是我我就会这么做 That's what I would've done.
我再也不会抛弃我的朋友了 I don't leave my friends behind anymore.
是吗 我想我们是朋友了 对吗 Yeah, I guess we are friends, huh?
呃 你知道有什么能保护我们的魔法吗 I-I mean, do you know any magic that can protect us?
我知道他们在这儿某个地方藏了一个 I know they've got one around here somewhere.
就是它 Gotcha.
这东西阻止不了他们 他们要比我们强 That's not gonna stop them. They're stronger than us.
-然后怎么样了 -什么 - So, what happened? - What?
你的故事 Your story.
你待在家里不出门 然后呢 You holed up in your house. Then what?
现在吗 Now?
呃 现在我在试着 Um, now I'm trying.
我一直在街头卖艺 还去找了个工作 You know, I-I've been busking, and I went and got a job,
今晚就是第一晚 and tonight was my first night.
这本来对我来说是很重要的一天 能够把一切扭回正轨 This was supposed to be my big day to turn everything around.
你说得对 萨姆 他们比我们强 You're right, Sam. They are stronger than us.
他们无情 自私 They're ruthless, selfish,
他们为了能亲上撒旦的屁股不惜互相划脖子 and they'll slit each other's throats to kiss satanic ass.
但你知道我们是谁吗 But you know what we are?
什么 What?
你是不知退缩的蓝领硬汉 You're a blue-collar badass that just won't quit,
而我是有枪而且被宠坏的顽童 and I'm a spoiled brat with a gun.
他们完全没有机会赢 They don't stand a chance.
真不敢相信 I can't believe it.
哈 Huh!
瞧 这就是所谓的情境反讽 Now, this is what's known as situational irony.
哦 咒语不管用吗 嗯 Oh. Spell didn't work? Well...
你教了你女儿那本书 You taught your daughter the book!
她知道怎样密封皮肤 She knows how to skin seal.
你就是不肯放弃她 You were never gonna give her up!
我找到她们了 I found them.
-她们在 -等等 - They're at... - Wait!
该死的 金 Damn it, Kim.
-怎么 -我们说过这点的 - What? - Yeah, we talked about this.
你知道该怎么做吗 You know what to do?
知道 Yes.
你害怕吗 You scared?
我也是 Me too.
你会读这些吗 亲爱的 Can you read those, honey?
不 No.
不 我不会 加里 好吗 No, I can't, Gary, okay?
我不会读他的肠子 I can't read his guts.
那是丹妮卡的长项 That was Danica's department.
呃 我们还有两个小时 Well, we have two hours.
我知道 加里 I know that, Gary!
我知道我们的时间 I can tell time.
最糟的是 最糟的是 加里 The worst part... the worst part, Gary...
我就知道会这样 I saw this coming.
几年前我就知道会这样 I saw this years ago.
他妈的接电话啊 Answer your fucking phone!
不会开飞行模式吗 Airplane mode?
什么鬼 What the shit?
哦 Oh.
天哪 God!
喂 Hello?
吉普西 Gypsy.
朱迪 Judi.
你想领导巫师团吗 You want to lead the coven?
你为什么要帮我 Why would you help me?
因为我的婊子妈想要杀了我 Because my whore mother tried to kill me.
不 不 不 这还不够 No, no, no. Not good enough.
你有我的头发 You have my hair,
而我可不想下半辈子活在逃亡之中 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life on the run.
我想回来 I want back in.
我手上有那个处女 I have the virgin.
你在哪儿 Where are you?
看看你的来电显示吧 Check your caller I.D.
家
你这小婊子 You little bitch!
好了 Okay.
那处女在我家 The virgin is at my house.
我们还有两个小时 We have two hours, people.
有人抗议我的领导权吗 Does anyone here contest my right to lead?
我们来展示点真本事吧 Let's show some hustle, people!
我们走 Let's go!
她在哪儿 我知道她就在这儿 Where is she? I know she's in here.
她在哪儿 现在就是那个时刻了 加里 Where is she? It's happening, Gary.
她在哪儿 我知道她在这儿 Where is she? I know she's in here.
就是此刻了 就要发生了 加里 This is the moment. This is happening, Gary.
好了 Okay.
不 不 等等 No, no, wait!
该死 凯尔 Damn it, Kyle.
巴风特 Baphomet,
女巫之王 king of the witches,
圣殿骑士之主 lord of the Knights of Templar,
三面的无情恶魔 triple-face fuck monster of remorseless intent
阴毒智慧的指路人 and illuminator of poisonous knowledge,
给我亟需的力量 give me strength in my hour of need.
帮我找到她们 巴风特 Help me find them, Baphomet.
我只求这一件事 This one thing I ask.
朱迪 Judi?
朱迪 Judi?!
朱迪 朱迪 Judi? Judi!
朱迪 朱迪 朱迪... Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi!
朱迪 朱迪 朱迪... Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi!
朱迪 朱迪 朱迪 ... Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi!
朱迪 朱迪 朱迪... Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi! Judi!
朱迪 Judi!
-你还好吗 -还好 - You okay? - Uh-huh.
我们在阴影谷里 这里就是个鬼地方 We're in the Vale of Shadows. It's all fucked up.
我们得走了 We got to go.
我可没有会帮 I knew no daughter of mine
吉普西·纽米尔上位的女儿 would give Gypsy Neumieir the time of day.
干得好啊 亲爱的 Well done, sweetie.
去你的 Fuck you.
这可不是跟你妈妈说话的语气 That's no way to talk to your mother.
是时候回家了 It's time to go home.
带上你的朋友 Bring your friend.
你想要杀了我 You tried to kill me!
-别管那些细节 -快跑 萨姆 - Details. - Run, Sam.
哦 萨曼莎 我恐怕朱迪 Oh, Samantha, I'm afraid Judi
也许给了你你能 may have given you the impression
跑出去的印象吧 that there's some escape.
不 千禧一代的小娃娃 No, my millennial moppet.
-我们不可阻挡 -闭嘴 妈妈 - We're inevitable. - Shut up, Mom.
朱迪 别搞得像个人恩怨一样 我也不想这样 Judi, don't make this personal. I'm not happy about it either.
你觉得我喜欢穿着这愚蠢的礼袍四处跑 You think I like running around in silly robes
费劲谋杀我的孩子 murdering my children?
但你要不然就加入这场游戏 要不然就一边儿凉快去 But you got to either get in the game or sit on the sidelines.
你不用这么做的 You don't have to do this.
没有别的办法 There's no other way.
你觉得杀了我能改变这个世界吗 Do you think killing me is gonna change the world?
你扣下扳机 太阳明天还是会升起 You pull that trigger and the sun will still come up tomorrow,
只不过你会变得和她一样 only you'll be just like her.
哦 也许她可以给你找一份她那个披萨店的活干 Oh! Maybe she'll get you a job at her pizza parlor.
快走 Go.
难道你宁愿跪着活一辈子 也不愿意 Wouldn't you rather spend a few years on your feet
站着活几年 than a lifetime on your knees?
你给我留下的是什么生活 What life did you leave me?!
你死了之后就轮到我了 You die, then me.
我们无权选择生存的世界 亲爱的 We don't get to choose the world, sweetheart.
-一 -如果你想要好东西的话 - One... - If you want anything good,
-就要自己去争取 -二 - you have to take it. - ...two...
你还年轻 所以我试着耐心些 You're young, so I'm trying to be patient.
-三 -忘了什么了吗 - ...three. - Forget something?
朱迪
你是要绑架我的女儿吗 Are you kidnapping my daughter?
她晚点会谢我的 快走 She'll thank me later. Come on.
除了塑料浴帘和沃尔玛的运动裤之外 你还有什么 What do you have to offer her but plastic shower curtains
能给她的 and Walmart sweatpants?
我看到的只是一帮想成为玛莎·斯图沃特的 All I see are a bunch of Martha Stewart wannabes
喝着白葡萄酒 吸着医用大麻 还听着 who drink white wine and smoke medical marijuana
80年代金曲榜的老家伙 and listen to '80s playlists.
我们统治着世界 We run the world.
你们是帮混蛋 You're assholes.
你两腿间的那个膜 That little membrane between your legs
是唯一能给你可悲生活创造一点价值的东西 is the only thing that gives your sad little life any value.
我不会让你碰我们的 I'm not letting you touch us.
尽管我不想承认 但你开始让我感到厌烦了 I hate to admit it, but you're starting to annoy me.
萨姆 Sam?
萨姆 Sam.
萨姆 萨姆 Sam? Sam.
你是对的 You were right.
我真的 我真的搞砸了 I really... I really screwed up.
别留空隙 我可不想有什么不速之客闯进来 No gaps. We don't want any uninvited guests.
丹妮尔 Danielle.
过去的事都过去了 The past is the past.
现在重要的只有伟业了 What matters now is the great working.
这是你的 This is yours.
丹妮卡 Danica...
我洗过了 I washed it.
呃 Uh...
我只想给组织带来最好的 I only wanted what was best for the group.
吉普西只想给吉普西带来最好的 Gypsy just wanted what was best for Gypsy.
要有种承认 Have the balls to own it.
但没关系 我能理解 But it's okay. I understand.
我理解处在如此大压力下是什么感受 I understand what it's like to be under so much pressure.
没错 Yeah.
就好像你在大海底部 Almost like you're at the bottom of the sea.
水压压得你动弹不得 仿佛要压碎你 All that water pressing you down, crushing you,
海水填满了你的肺 filling your lungs.
你无法呼吸 动弹不得 And you can't breathe and you can't move
说不出话 and you can't speak,
你惊慌失措 痛苦挣扎 and you panic and you struggle,
但都没用 but it's no use.
溺水是全世界最糟糕的感受了 Drowning is the worst feeling in the world.
丹妮卡 我们为发生的一切深感抱歉 Danica? We're sorry what happened.
你们以为你们支持了胜者 You thought you were backing a winner.
我能理解 I understand.
呃 金尤其感到抱歉 Uh, Kim's sorry in particular
因为 你知道 呃 她把 她把锥子插到你的头盖骨里面去了 for, you know, uh, putting a... a spike through your skull.
在我原谅你们之前 我会蹲在你们的坟头前 I'll squat in the dirt and piss on your grave
往你们的墓碑上尿上一泡 before I forgive you.
你们站了队 现在就品尝苦果吧 You picked your side. Now live with it.
哦 Oh!
妈 Mom.
请放我走吧 对不起 Please let me go. I'm sorry.
-不 别求她 -我会做你想要我做的一切 - No, don't beg her. - I'll do whatever you want.
我会让我们回家去的 I'm getting us home.
五分钟后 In five minutes,
你会品尝到 you are going to have
你第一次性体验 your very first sexual encounter,
失去贞操 并与此同时 lose your virginity, and give birth
生出伟大的巴风特 all at the same time, courtesy of the great Baphomet.
害怕是正常的 Fear is appropriate.
别听她的 Don't listen.
她只是个涂了假唇骨瘦如柴的可悲老妇人 She's just a sad old lady with fake lips and a bony ass.
要不是我现在心情如此之好 If I wasn't in such a good mood,
我肯定会因为这个把你的舌头扯下来 I'd cut out your tongue for that.
我们的主今晚就要这儿出生 This is where our lord will be born tonight.
我跟你保证 会很疼的哦 It's going to hurt. I guarantee it.
妈 Mom...
我愿意做你想要的一切 求你了 I'll do whatever you want. Please.
孩子 婴 婴儿 我会给你生小孩儿的 Children, b-babies. I-I'll bring you babies.
-我愿意 我愿意当你的育种器 -嘘 - I'll... I'll be your breeder. - Shh.
我给过你无上的荣光 可你却不屑一顾 I gave you the greatest honor, and you spat in my face.
你们这代人根本不懂什么叫牺牲 Your generation doesn't understand sacrifice.
接下来所要发生的 What's going to happen next
只是我对你们失望的一小部分而已 barely begins to express my disappointment.
你们准备好打破一直以来禁锢我们野心的 Are you ready to break the chains of conventional morality
-传统道德观了吗 -是的 - that stifle our ambitions? - Yes!
你们准备好投资未来了吗 Are you ready to make an investment in your future?
是的 Yes!
是谁的力量彻底解放我们真正的潜能 And whose power unlocks our true potential?
伟大的撒旦 Hail Satan!
-是谁 -伟大的撒旦 - Who? - Hail Satan!
我听不到你们哟 I can't hear you.
伟大的撒旦 伟大的撒旦 伟大的撒旦 Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan!
那我们今晚要欢迎谁驾临 And who do we welcome here tonight?
我们要召唤他的哪位使者 Who is his emissary that we summon?
成就之王 巴风特万岁 Hail Baphomet, lord of achievement!
奴隶之主 巴风特万岁 Hail Baphomet, master of slaves!
成功之神 巴风特万岁 Hail Baphomet, god of success!
财富之使 巴风特万岁 Hail Baphomet, bringer of wealth!
我向你四倍的赞礼 为我们带来幸福的使者啊 Hail fourfold, bringer of joy!
今晚 我们就把旧世界的爱 同情 和怜悯 Tonight, we set aside the ways of the old world...
放到一边 love, empathy, and compassion.
那些都是过去式了 Those are the old tools.
加入我革新的阵营 Join me in the invocation.
光明之使 巴风特 我们召唤汝 We invoke thee, Baphomet, light bringer.
我在 我思 我愿 I am, I think, I will!
我是制裁者 我是执行官 I am the sanction, I am the warrant.
我在 我思 我愿 I am, I think, I will!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak! Wealth to the strong!
求求你 求求你 救救我 Please, please, help me!
强者富 我在 我思 我愿 Wealth to the strong. I am, I think, I will!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
我在 我思 我愿 I am, I think, I will!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
我在 我思 我愿 I am, I think, I will!
弱者亡 强者富 我在 我思 我愿 Death to the weak. I am, I think, I will!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
-我在 我思 我愿 -救救我 求你了 - I am, I think, I will! - Help me, please!
求你 救命 Please, help!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
救命 求求你 Help, please!
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
神圣之灵就要降临 撒旦万岁 The holy one comes. Hail Satan.
求你 Please.
巴风特万岁 Hail Baphomet.
撒旦万岁 Hail Satan.
巴风特万岁 Hail Baphomet.
强者富 Wealth to the strong.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
不 救命 救命 不要 No, help, help! No!
不 不 不 不 不 不 不 不 不要 No, no, no, no, no! No! No, no, no!
救救我 求你 Help me, please!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
救命 Help!
哦 哦 Ohhh! Oh!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
你 You!
是你 You!
哦 Ohh!
你这该死的凸眼怪混蛋 You fucking bug-eyed, fun-sized asshole!
你这缩头乌龟 学究似的吝啬鬼 You turtleneck-wearing, egghead cheap fuck!
你只需要付个小费 你这吝啬的混蛋 All you had to do was tip, you cheap bastard!
上帝呀 谁会在披萨上加甜玉米 你这恶心人的东西 My God, who puts corn on pizza, you disgusting fuck?!
不付小费 臭吝啬鬼 You no-tipping, cheap-ass,
狗娘养的瘾君子 Baby Gap-shopping turd on ice!
操 Fuck!
保护好它的子宫 Protect its womb!
退后 Get back!
别伤害它 Don't hurt it.
我会一下捅穿他那该死的脑袋 I will stab him right through the fucking skull.
你正在犯一个大错 You're making a huge mistake.
立刻把她的锁链解开 Get her chains off now.
萨曼莎 Samantha.
立刻把她的锁链解开 Get her chains off now!
这全是你的错 This is all your fault.
不 No!
朱迪 不 Judi, no!
准备好她的阴门迎接他的降生 Prepare her vile gate for his birth.
不 不 不 操 No! No! No! Fuck!
不 No!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
我在 我思 我愿 I am, I think, I will.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
来吧 巴风特 Come, Baphomet!
到你忠实的仆从 我们身边吧 Come to us, your worthy servants,
并让优秀的我们高出其他所有人一头 and place us above all others by virtue of our excellence.
两只小白兔 两只小白兔 Two fuzzy bunnies. Two fuzzy bunnies.
萨姆 Sam!
哟 Whee!
萨米 Sammy!
你不该来这儿的 You shouldn't be here.
这不是很有趣吗 Isn't this funny?
你是谁 Who are you?
我叫萨玛齐尔 从地狱来的 My name's Samaziel. I'm from hell.
有人工作失误啦 Someone made an oopsie.
等等 是你让所有人都不见的吗 Wait, did you make everyone disappear?
地狱里有11位公主 我高高在上 There are 11 princes in hell, and I'm way up here.
而那讨厌的巴风特远在下面 And that stinky Baphomet is way down there,
先敬拜他是不合规矩的 and worshipping him first is against the rules,
破坏规矩可是让我很生气 and breaking the rules makes me poopy.
你做了什么 What did you do?
笨家伙们 他们以为他们很强 Silly billies. They think they're so strong.
可总是会有更强的人哟 There's always someone stronger.
我会让他们知道的 I'll show them.
跟我转圈 Spin me!
总会有人更强 ♪ There's always someone stronger ♪
总会有人更坏 ♪ There's always someone meaner ♪
总会有人更强 ♪ There's always someone stronger ♪
总会有人更坏 ♪ There's always someone meaner ♪
我就是他们中最坏的 I'm the biggest meanie of them all.
小兔子 Bunnies!
那 现在怎么样了 So, what happens now?
小白兔先生要给他们一个教训 Mr. Bunny's gonna teach them a lesson.
呃 那我要怎样呢 Uh, and what about me?
这你得问小白兔先生了 You're going to have to ask Mr. Bunny.
呃 那我要怎样呢 小白兔先生 Uh, what about me, Mr. Bunny?
小白兔先生说你今晚帮了我 Mr. Bunny says you helped me tonight.
所以我们可以给你个痛快 So we'll kill you fast.
呃 小白兔先生不能让我回家去吗 Uh, look, can't Mr. Bunny just let me go home?
小白兔先生是个坏蛋 Mr. Bunny's a meanie.
萨姆的约定 Code of the Sams.
啥 What?
你 你说破坏规矩会让你不高兴 Y-You said that breaking the rules makes you poopy.
那萨姆的约定怎么办 What about code of the Sams?
萨玛齐尔 Samaziel.
萨姆 Sam.
你得帮我 这是 这是规矩 I mean, you have to help me. It's... It's the rule.
这是你编出来的 You made that up.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
因为全世界有700万个叫萨姆的 'Cause there's like seven million Sams in the world,
而你是我遇见的第一个 and you're the first one I've ever met
从没听过萨姆的约定的 that's never heard of the code of the Sams.
萨姆要帮助萨姆 It's Sams helping Sams.
我们都这么干 It's our jam.
你是个骗子 You're a liar.
听着 你都有这么多人可以玩弄了 Look, you have all these other people to play with.
干嘛不保险一点呢 Wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?
萨姆 Sam...
怎么了 What?
跑 Run.
我不需要你的帮助或是你的仇恨 ♪ I don't need your help or your hatred ♪
你他妈离我远一点 ♪ You stay the fuck away from me ♪
听听墙里面老鼠的抓挠声吧 ♪ Hear the scratch of the rats in the walls ♪
我在 我思 我愿 I am, I think, I will!
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
我在 我思 我愿 I am, I think, I will.
弱者亡 强者富 Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.
领我至此 ♪ Led me here ♪
并说 抓住我的手 ♪ Said, "Hold my hand" ♪
一位年轻的仙女遭到玷污 ♪ A young nymph defiled then ♪
我的身体从内部抗争着 ♪ My body fights itself inside ♪
我感受到了它俯首于 ♪ I feel it bow ♪
这尘世之间 ♪ This mortal hold ♪
快点 拜托 拜托 拜托 拜托 Come on! Please, please, please, please.
快发动 快发动 快啊 快啊 Please start, please start. Please, please.
拜托 拜托 Come on, come on!
哦 谢了 Oh, thank you.
你是承载者 ♪ You carrier ♪
你拒绝了我 ♪ You repulse me ♪
听着她的膝盖刮划街道的声音 ♪ Heard the sound of her knees scrape against the street ♪
你这肮脏之种 ♪ You, the dirty one ♪
你夺走了我的一切 ♪ What you took from me ♪
除了虚伪一无所剩 ♪ There was nothing left but hypocrisy ♪
天降憎恶 黑暗的回忆 ♪ Holy odium, blotted memory ♪
但我的悔恨永不会吞噬我 ♪ But my regret will never consume me ♪
大海舔舐着 ♪ The ocean's licking tongue ♪
血流不止 ♪ A letting of the blood ♪
邪恶的预言 ♪ A vile prophecy ♪
时刻折磨我 ♪ Scrape it out of me ♪
丹妮卡·罗斯到底有什么秘密
看起来你一晚上挺开心啊 Looks like you had a fun night.
我的保温袋呢 Where's my thermal bag?
你不能带啮齿动物进来 You can't bring a rodent in here.
她不是啮齿动物 她是朱迪二代 She's not a rodent. She's Judi Jr.
你他妈这是要去哪儿 Where the hell you think you're going?
澳大利亚 Australia.
天堂和人间有着比梦中 ♪ There are more things in heaven and earth ♪
还要多的事物 ♪ Than can be dreamt of ♪
我想知道天堂有多高 ♪ I wonder how far above ♪
我死后爱你不减 ♪ In death I'll love you more ♪
有翅膀不意味着你是好人 ♪ Wings don't always mean you're good ♪
而有时所谓邪恶也是受人误解的 ♪ And sometimes evil is misunderstood ♪
我心中的燃烧着一把火 ♪ There is a fire burning deep within my heart ♪
但我绝不会让它伤害你 ♪ I'll never let it hurt you ♪
我也不会让它熄灭 ♪ I'll never let it stop ♪
我死后爱你不减 ♪ In death I'll love you more ♪
我们的灵魂紧密贴合 ♪ Our souls coalesce ♪
我们腐朽的肉身 ♪ Our wasted flesh ♪
是在凡间仅剩的一点东西了 ♪ Is all that's left of mortal age ♪
消失吧 分解吧 ♪ Disappear, disintegrate ♪
分解成构成我们的微粒 ♪ The substance of which we were made ♪
才能永存 ♪ And still forever one ♪
我们才能得以保留 ♪ We shall rem-a-a-a-ain ♪
我死后爱你不减 ♪ In death I'll love you more ♪
我会更加爱你 ♪ I'll love you more ♪
我死后爱你不减 ♪ In death I'll love you more ♪
我会更加爱你 ♪ I'll love you mo-o-o-o-o-re ♪